There's certainly no one in the town of Cold Lake right now that is lacking in the following: a tragic story of someone who was grievously sickened or killed by the H1N1 vaccination, the lowdown on some H1N1 government conspiracy or another, and the knowledge that the line at the vaccination clinics were epic, cold, and miserable.

What perhaps fewer are aware of is the October 31 announcement that mass vaccination clinics will be suspended. This means anyone who is unaware of the changes may well hop into a line up that weaves into the parking lot, in minus degree weather only to find out that lo! There are no H1N1 vaccines to be had and the fact that the flu virus spreads best in cold weather will become truly ironic. Presently, more than 300,000 Albertans have been vaccinated, and it's not as if the province has run out. The issue lies in the fact that high risk people – those who are pregnant, over 65, and have chronic health conditions, for example – aren't receiving the vaccination, because dang it, Grandpa didn't get in line quickly enough to get it before the healthy hockey mom of five did.

Why did the government fail to realize this, is my question? Alberta-wide, clinics are being closed while the health authority “tweaks” the plan while the rest of the country cocks their head and wonders just what the Heck we are doing. Bravo, Alberta, but your lack of foresight is unsettling. While I waited in line for two hours to get the vaccine that could prevent my own immunosuppressed body from contracting an illness that it just can't fight off, I announced loudly to anyone in earshot that “man, I hope not everyone is here to get the H1N1 shot, or they'll surely run out!” Sadly, by the time I actually got into the building, the six foot submarine sandwiched had arrived, the line had stopped moving, and if I got coughed on by one more child, I was going to snap so I left. I discovered the upcoming clinics wouldn't have the vaccine available and I would have to wait until tomorrow to visit http://www.albertahealthservices.ca and find out just how I can go about getting it. This sounds like a situation that could have easily been circumvented, had the people being paid to foresee such situations came the same obvious conclusion I had while I was standing outside the Agriplex, freezing my rear off.

Found out that Sean will be away for months, and my birthday falls smack in the middle of said months. For the love of GOD, someone please do something for my birthday, for once.

The ongoing saga of my insane mother continues. I'm convinced that she's going through "the change" or perhaps the mass quantities of drugs is catching up with her, because she's finally snapped.

I haven't spoken to her for months, but my sister continues their relationship. She doesn't have it in her to tell her to fuck her hat and she also actually gets something out of their relationship, so I get that. Anyway, my mom has asked Shannon to provide reconnaissance on me, as if I have so much going on. Also, since my mother has also apparently decided she's an evil genius and come up with a glorious plan to "make" me talk to her.

My mom?

As you may have assumed, I'll be back at H&R this year, so in a Sun Tzu-like maneuver, she informed Shannon that she will "make" me do her taxes. Unfortunately for her, I work with two other tax preparers, both of whom would be glad to prepare her taxes.

Seems like picking up a phone would be easier, though not nearly as diabolical. But whatever. Life is much less complicated, and endlessly more funny, this way.

I'm such a freakin' delight, going around ruining otherwise lovely photos of Shannon and Jason.

My mom has been calling quite a lot. Finally, I just got fed up with this little game of Dodge the Crazy Bitch and told her to "get a clue and stop calling me". One part of me wants to, I don't know, write a letter and tell her all the reasons she can fuck her hat and the other part of me wants to leave her to think whatever she wants. The factors driving me toward the former are two-fold. One, my own closure. I'm holding all this in and let me tell you, I cry. I cry a lot. At least once daily, I burst into tears for no discernible reason and poor Sean is suffering the brunt of my mood swings. The second reason is that I know she's sitting at home, blaming it all on me. I can only imagine the things she says to other people in her life, considering what she's told Shannon (that my fight with Sean when I called to talk was "what I get", for example).

As far as my father, I haven't heard from him, though that isn't surprising in the least. Sean has "forbidden" me from going over there anyway, because he's been around for a lot of that bullshit. I think he's taking some responsibility for how I feel when I get home, because he's been my mode of transportation to most of these awkward clusterfuck dinners. Still, a part of me would like to tell him where to go as well, because I'm fairly certain he remains oblivious to his status on my shit list.

To top it all off, my period has been notably absent (crossing my fingers hard for a stress-related explanation) and my boobs feel like they're so inflated that they're going to explode on my chest. Also sick every day and the aforementioned crying jags. Please, please, please God, I can't have a behbeh right now (ever?). WebMD assures me, however, that it's probably just aseptic meningitis, so that's cool.