So, because I no longer wish to be a useless turd, I've been looking into schooling. Turns out that through Athabasca University, I'd be able to get my BofArts, with a concentration in psychology (which I can upgrade to a major afterward), all from the comfort of my own home. Which is good, because my own comfortable home is about 300 kilometers from any real institution. I realize it's not the most reputable school, but it's feasible and that's a nice change from "freakin' out of the question".

The only issue is that after this three years, I will have spent almost $20,000 and frankly, I don't have $20 at the moment. I'm considering speaking to my (totally loaded) father, but with him already agreeing to put his (third) wife's kid through college, who knows? This fact is a major point of contention for me for a lot of reasons. First, these aren't his kids, they're the kids of the woman he's railing (married to, whatever) and I have sprung from his very loins. I realize I might sound like a petty, selfish asshole here, but I'm really bitter that these kids are benefiting from my father's new employment situation and are receiving innumerable things that a) Shannon and I never had the opportunity to receive, and b) we could both really fucking use. For example, Shannon and her fiance don't have a car and being that they're about to have a child, they could really use one. Carla's (Dad's wife) children are both receiving a vehicle. I am fully aware that as my parents were in the military, this wasn't an option for us, and now we're "all grown up", but to see other children receive what I feel that we should be receiving, is disheartening, embittering, and all-around infuriating. I feel like my life would have been much different, had we gotten the opportunities these kids are getting, and it makes me angry.

Further complicating matters is the fact that my father completely checked out for almost five years and only recently has come back into our lives at all. And don't get me wrong - he helps us both out a lot when we need it - just not to the same extent. I almost feel like he should be making up for the past, and the materialistic part of me wants it in the form of a university education. I do like having him in my life in any context, but I am growing more and more bitter and angry every day. I don't know how to broach it without coming off a twat, but it's eating me up a little bit.

Gugh.

Losing 15 lbs in one week is alarming, but not unusual on my diet of one meal a day, usually oodles of noodles or PB sandwiches. I'm supposed to go grocery shopping today (which I haven't done in two months), but I don't know if Lynn (my room mate) is actually doing to get off the couch and I'm nervous about nagging her (because she's slightly unhinged). I should add here, also, that I poop once a week or so.

Poverty is hard.

My rent situation is confusing the fuck out of me. I need some logical genius assistance, because Lord knows I can't figure it out.

Note to renters: Always get a fucking receipt.

Edit: I think I get it and I don't like it.

I went to the store this evening to pick up some dinner ingredients. Mister Marx was outside on his leash and I figured since I was just going across the street, he'd be fine. Tomatoes and lettuce later, I return to my backyard, hear Marx meowing and follow his lead to one of the small trees planted there. Not only was he up a tree, but he somehow had managed to wrap his leash around every branch on the way up and twist his halter entirely around backwards. I dropped my bags and rescued him, while he indignantly meowed the entire time. Poor little fella.

Today Telus called me to tell me my phone will be disconnected on the 3rd. My life really is in a bit of shambles right now.

Unnecessarily filed my taxes tonight. I didn't have to, as I only have one T4 for seven grand. That's right - I lived off seven grand for a year. Amazing, non?